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| photo by Pierce Butler and Corwyn Miyagishima |
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
Field of Flowers October Hybrid Sesshin
Friday, July 5, 2024
A Few Words About Koans
Personally, I absolutely love koans, and always have. I first encountered them in the book edited by Paul Reps called Zen Flesh, Zen Bones. Reps published his book in 1957 and it consists of four texts on non-dual teachings, three of which are collections of Zen teaching stories and koans, including a translation of The Gateless Gate by the Japanese Zen teacher Nyogen Senzaki.
I must have been a teen-ager when I found the book in the 1970's, and read it again and again. I didn't understand the stories, but I deeply wanted to, and started looking around for someone who could help me explore them. It wasn't until 1981 that I met my first Zen teacher, Richard Clarke, a student of Philip Kapleau, Rōshi, who prepared me for the work of koan introspection by helping me to ground in zazen, the practice of meditation that focuses on upright sitting in stillness and silence, being with the breath and body. After many years of this practice, Richard introduced me to the koan "mu" which begins the Gateless Gate. I worked with him for 20 years, "completing" the koan curriculum that he used, which included four collections of classical Chinese koans.
After I left him and found my second teacher, James Ford, Rōshi, I started again at the beginning, with "mu" and went on to explore the first four collections with fresh eyes, and four more following that. Somewhere in the middle of all this, James gave me permission to teach koans, and the learning continued to deepen.
I did some training with John Tarrant, Rōshi, who was James' teacher, and who had created a format for studying koans in groups that he called "Koan Salons". The style of koan introspection in modern American Zen practice was private and confidential, solely between teacher and student. Sometimes a teacher would give a talk about a koan and this was followed by either "dharma combat" in which a student would come up to the teacher and ask some challenging question to express their knowledge, or, as we developed the practice in Boundless Way, a "dharma dialogue" which was a friendlier version, with room for students to wonder out loud about the talk and the koan.
In koan salons, the teacher would present the koan during a guided contemplation, within the practice of zazen, repeating the koan many times, and then opening up the koan for a group discussion. As I adapted this practice for my sangha, eventually renaming it "koan café, " I was amazed at the level of insight that the group developed together, in an atmosphere of wondering and encouraging free association while hearing the koan. We continue to ask what people notice as reactions in the mind, body and heart as they repeatedly hear the words of the koan.
In traditional koan study, there are "correct" answers, although some improvisation and personalization is honored and affirmed. But in the koan café, everyone is correct, so long as they are honest about their responses, and avoid getting lost in intellectual interpretations.
Whenever I work with a student on one of the more than 2000 koans we use in Boundless Way, my own understanding deepens. And, as it turns out, every time I offer a koan café something similar happens. Koans are deep and bottomless offerings from our Zen ancestors that help us to understand the meaning of a life of awakening.
David Rynick, Rōshi, my life and teaching partner and I will be offering koan cafés this fall on Zoom at Boundless Way Zen Temple (Boundless Way.) And of course, the Sangha Live program is coming up soon. I hope to see you there!
Tuesday, June 25, 2024
Squall on the Pacific June 2025 Sesshin
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| photo by Rev. Corwyn Miyagishima |
Sangha members from as far east as Iran and as far west as Hawaii attended the retreat, plus people from Europe and the US. Geography, as well as time, melted away.
We focused on a koan from the Gateless Gate, number 41, in which the legendary Indian teacher Bodhidharma meets and connects with his eventual dharma heir Hui-ke. Looking into this koan together, we were able to find in these two ancient characters some reflections of our own innermost longings.
Our next Zoom sesshin will be Sept. 6 -- 9 and is open for registration now (Boundless Way Zen Temple). Three weeks of residential practice are also open for registration for July and August -- you can attend for one, two or all three weeks. I hope to practice with you in the future!
Wednesday, October 11, 2023
Friday, August 4, 2023
Hakuin's Song of Zazen paraphrased by Nyogen Senzaki
From the very beginning you are a Buddha. As there is no ice apart from water, so there is no Buddha outside our fellow-beings. People fail to perceive the truth, though it is within them, and they search afar for it. They suffer thirst, failing to see the fountain near at hand. They are in poverty, forgetting that they are heirs to boundless wealth.
You say that you are suffering. You only suffer because of your own ignorance. Light your prajna, the inner wisdom, and darkness will instantly vanish. That is what we call zazen, Mahayana Dhyana.
I can not tell you how zazen, Mahayana Dhyana, does its marvelous work for you. No other study, however sublime, surpasses it. It stands beyond comparison. You can experience it by yourself. The errors of the past will no longer harass you. Where is hell? You left it in yesterday's dream. Where is paradise? You are standing in it.
If you praise zazen, Mahayana Dhyana, you are drawing yourself next to the Buddha. If you practice zazen, Mahayana Dhyana, you are actually walking in the path of the Buddhas. When you realize that your true self is not-self then your mind will transcend all thoughts.
Thus the gate of true freedom will be opened, and you will enter the holy path rightfully. Your karma will be the emanations of Buddha's wisdom and grace. You can now come and go when ever and where ever you please, for the truth is yours, and you have nothing to do but to manifest it. Even your singing and dancing will actualize Buddha-Dharma. The whole world will be beautiful to your eyes.
In the infinite sky of Samadhi, the moon of the Tathagata's four wisdoms is shining, yet its rays of silvery light are the reflections of your true self. Now what else do you want in this world? The long sought Nirvana is yours. You live in Buddha's paradise of lotus flowers, and you are a Buddha yourself.
Friday, June 2, 2023
Comings and Goings
| 2005 sesshin photo at Senexet House in Connecticut |
Someone sent me this photo recently. He didn't know where or when it was taken, but I managed to identify it, from the people and the colors of the rakusus, It was taken 18 years ago at the end of a sesshin at Senexet House, where Boundless Way folks used to meet to have our intensive meditation retreats. Looking over the photo, I have mixed thoughts and feelings -- the first thought being: "we were all so young!" A handful of people in the picture are still practicing with David and me in Boundless Way -- you may recognize some of those faces. And a few more have died and many more have gone on their way to other Zen communities, or to another kind of non-Zen life. So there is also nostalgia and some sadness. The main teaching for me that comes from this photo is how fragile our connections are to each other, to life, and to the dharma. Currently we have a dedicated and devoted group of practitioners in Boundless Way: over one hundred members of the organization, and many more who come and practice together on Zoom and in person. This morning there were nearly forty faces who showed up for dokusan, or just to practice zazen together. How many will be with us in 20 years? I myself, if I'm still alive, will be close to 90. Because everything comes and goes in this delicate system of connection, I am moved to be even more grateful for who is in my life right now. Thanks to all who are reading this, whether or not we've met or practiced together, for being here. Many bows to you all!
Wednesday, May 31, 2023
Two Sesshins: April 2023 Crying and Laughing and May 2023 Ducky Down
Wednesday, March 22, 2023
Crest of the Wave March 2023 Sesshin
Friday, March 3, 2023
Falling Here Sesshin
Wednesday, March 1, 2023
Leaving the SZBA
About a month ago, I resigned from the Soto Zen Buddhist Association, a group of ordained Soto Zen priests. My letter of resignation, which follows at the end of this post, is self-explanatory. I noticed that as soon as I pressed send on the email, I felt an enormous sense of relief. My ordination is in two Soto Zen lineages, and in Boundless Way Zen, we have found a way to be priests that matches my deepest sense of what it means to commit whole-heartedly to the Great Way of Zen. Our style has drifted away from the SZBA style in many respects, especially in our training, which we feel is more strict and also more spacious than what is now expected by the SZBA. Here is a section from the Boundless Way Zen Temple website which describes our understanding of what it means to be a Zen priest. Please scroll down to the section called "ordination" for more details: https://worcesterzen.org/authorization-transmission-ordination/#ordination. And here is the first paragraph of that section:
"Priests vow to manifest the life of the sangha. Ordination is a commitment not only to Zen and Buddhism, but also to our particular manifestation of the Path within the Boundless Way Zen sangha. This means taking on tasks of support and leadership that can range from shoveling snow at the Temple to being a member of the Leadership Council, from leading a sitting group to being a chaplain in the larger community. An unsui (clouds-and-water) priest may perform all the rites of the Boundless Way, including performing marriages and conducting funerals. An unsui priest may also serve in the larger community in a variety of ministerial capacities."
I end this post with the letter that I sent explaining my resignation, written and submitted together with my teacher James Ford and one of my students, David Caruso:
All of us who have signed below have had misgivings about our place within the Soto Zen Buddhist Association for a number of years. Beyond a nostalgic sense of identity with the historic Soto transmission and fondness for many individuals involved, we do not see an alignment with either the larger vision of the organization, nor its expectations for membership.
Triggered by the recent suspension of a member, we began discussing our relationship with the SZBA, and why we remain members. Each of us have different feelings about it, but we come to the same basic conclusion.
Our lack of alignment stems from our perception of an expanding list of expectations starting with formation requirements which we do not expect from our students, and extending to what are considered ethical violations that seem at once both overly broad and randomly specific. After consulting with our formal and informal dharma family, we have come to the conclusion that it is time to leave.
Please accept this as our formal resignation from membership within the Soto Zen Buddhist Association.
Rev. James Myōun Ford, Empty Moon Zen
Rev. Melissa Myōzen Blacker, Boundless Way Zen Temple
Rev. David Shunyo Caruso, Boundless Way Zen Temple
Monday, January 9, 2023
Healing and Receiving
About two months ago, I fell from a high stool, and landed on the back of my head, smashed into a cast-iron radiator. A visit to the emergency room was a journey through grace -- so many people, including a sangha member who is an EMT, helped me through this wildly unexpected event.
And then, the Friday before Christmas, my husband David Dae An Rynick, Roshi, was in a car accident in New Jersey during a powerful storm, as he was traveling from Pennsylvania where he had been visiting his mother. He has a fractured sternum and some bruises, and our car was totaled. We managed to get him home that night and I'm glad he’s alive!
Following that, on Christmas day, my brother Stephen died unexpectedly. David and I are both grieving and healing, emotionally and physically. I have slowly returned to teaching, supported by the Dharma Holders and Senior Assistant Teachers of Boundless Way Zen who have stepped in to offer talks and dokusan. We are so grateful to everyone in the sangha who has reached out to us by phone, email, and text. A number of people have offered the use of their car, offered to shop, sent flowers, bought groceries, and made and delivered meals. We truly feel that we are surrounded by love and compassion.
And this weekend I taught a sesshin on Zoom with David going in and out as he was able, partnered with Dharma Holder Alan Richardson and assisted by Dharma Holder Michael Herzog.
I am truly grateful for my good fortune that has given us the opportunity to heal and receive from friends, family and our amazing Zen community.
Sunday, December 11, 2022
snow
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| photo by Michael Herzog, sculpture by David Rynick |
Blue Cliff Record Case 42 begins: "Layman Pang was leaving Yaoshan. Yaoshan ordered ten of his Zen students to see Pang off at the temple gate. Pang pointed to the falling snow in the air and said, 'Beautiful snow-flakes! — they don’t fall on any other place.'"
This is just the beginning of the koan, and is followed by a dialogue between Layman Pang and a Zen student who challenges him. But before the objecting mind of that student enters the story, we can relish Layman Pang's words by themselves.
It's snowing in Worcester tonight. Later, David and I will walk over to the Temple for our Sunday night service, through the darkness, through the falling snow. It's not a big storm, and the whiteness spreading everywhere is so lovely. Layman Pang, a Zen ancestor who never ordained and who is revered for both his ordinariness and his deep insight, must have enjoyed a similar scene as he was ending his visit at the teacher Yaoshan's place. Sometimes his additional comment is translated as "they don't fall anywhere." But I like this translation -- there's nowhere else they can be. There's nothing else that could be happening right now.
Whether your present moment experience is lovely or painful, sweet or challenging, can you see this truth for yourself? There is no other life than the one we are living. And in a moment, there will be some other life. Our way of practice keeps pointing us to this, this, this. Nowhere else. The mind that wants good things to last and bad things to stop has a hard time sinking into the reality of this. Pause and feel it for yourself. "Beautiful snowflakes! -- they don't fall on any other place."
Wednesday, October 12, 2022
Wandering and Wondering Fall 2022 Sesshin
This past weekend we celebrated the arrival of fall and Indigenous People's Day with a three day hybrid sesshin -- around 20 people participated online on zoom, and 20 people were in residence at the Temple. We explored a koan case from the Blue Cliff Record, in which Zen master Changsha goes off wandering in the mountains.
We are finding ways to continue to deepen and widen our Temple residential practice, while including people from around the country and the world, through zoom. We are truly blessed that the strength of the Dharma has supported our sangha practice. Come wander and wonder with us: Boundless Way Zen Temple
Tuesday, February 15, 2022
The Shining Grasses Sesshin
| photo by Corwyn Miyagishima |
Friday, January 28, 2022
Seeing into the nature of past and future
A big snow storm is headed our way. The weather folks are predicting one to two feet here in Worcester, and two to three feet east of us in Boston. The storm is supposed to start in less than twelve hours, and already the streets and the sky and the air are quiet. There is nothing to do but empty the compost, make sure the snow blower has enough gas, and wait.
Of course, this is a specific example of our usual condition, as human beings. We believe we know what will happen next, but we can only make approximate guesses, and base our actions on those guesses. A dharma friend told me today that he had stopped, pretty much, going over events that have happened in the past, and trying to predict what will happen. Most of his energy these days is going to being present for what's happening right now.
Another spiritual friend said something similar to me later in the day. She understands that what has passed has gone, and the energy it takes to keep the specifics of the past in memory is a waste of precious brain resources. "Forget it all," she said.
The past is a palace of memories, and the future is a cloudy region of fantasy. Right here, in this moment, the air is cold and quiet. The compost is emptied and the gas can is full. One moment at a time, life unfolds. We can meet it with surprise and wonder. Happy snow day!
Tuesday, December 21, 2021
And Yet
The Japanese poet Kobayashi Issa (1763-1827) wrote the following poem after his two year old daughter died:
tsuyu no yo wa
tsuyu no yo nagara
sari nagara
This world of dew
is a world of dew.
And yet ... and yet ....
Later, commenting on this poem, he wrote, "I knew that it was no use to cry, that water once flown past the bridge does not return and scattered blossoms are gone beyond recall. Yet try as I would, I could not, simply cut the binding cord of human love."
Last week I lost a dear friend, who died after a full life at the age of 98. I was lucky enough to be able to be with her the day before she died, holding her hand, breathing with her and quietly singing old jazz standards that both she and my mother and I had loved. She and my mother had been best friends, and when my mother died 35 years ago, she became a second mother to me. The two women had been pregnant at the same time, and both gave birth to daughters: me and my oldest friend. We four were all together when my mother died, and here we were again, only the three of us, as one of us again passed from this world to whatever lies beyond. As she lay dying, she kept saying, "I've been here a long time!"
So many parts of this experience reflect the teachings of Zen. We were facing impermanence and death and loss, and at the same time crying together and feeling our love for each other. This world of dew, where everything vanishes like dew on a leaf in the morning sun, is indeed a world of dew. There's no arguing with impermanence. As much as we'd like it to be different, everything comes and goes. So my friend was once alive, and now she is no longer on the planet in bodily form.
Issa's "and yet...and yet" is the other side of this logical understanding. We cannot "cut the binding cord of human love." Our hearts break regularly. As the recently deceased songwriter Stephen Sondheim sings "Sometimes people leave you, halfway through the wood." It's just the way it is. And yet...and yet.
I miss my friend, and will continue to heal from her passing as time goes on, and her death recedes further and further into the past. But she lives on in my heart, as do all my other loved ones who have left me in various ways. Impermanence goes hand in hand with love and connection. It's a mystery -- the great paradox of living a life in Zen -- facing into whatever arises and being as present as possible.
Wednesday, October 6, 2021
The Ineffable Sound of Raindrops Sesshin
As we journey more deeply into the pandemic, our virtual sesshin grow ever more deep and illuminating. Thanks to our tanto and registrar Jenny Smith, assistant tanto Rev. Paul Galvin, and the officer team of Rev. Corwyn Miyagishima, Michael Herzog and Pierce Butler, and the team of teachers: Bob Waldinger, Sensei, David Rynick, Roshi and myself, we opened our hearts to the sound of the raindrops. Deep gratitude to everyone who participated!
Sunday, August 8, 2021
The Wondrous Light and Dark Sesshin
Sunday, May 9, 2021
Ordination of Rev. Corwyn Ryūdõ Kinzan Miyagishima
Yesterday at 3 pm, through the magic of zoom, close to 90 people witnessed the ordination of Rev. Corwyn Ryūdõ Kinzan Miyagishima, my beloved student and a dharma light to the sangha of Boundless Way Temple, Boundless Way Zen and many other dharma friends. Pictured here are Rev. Paul Galvin, who traveled to the Temple hermitage in Worcester from his home in Vermont, Rev. Corwyn, me, and David Rynick, Rõshi. Also supporting the ordination on the zoom screen were Bob Waldinger, Rõshi and Mike Fieleke, Rõshi, and technical support came from sangha members Jenny Smith and Chad Cook. If you'd like to watch the ceremony, you can find it here on Youtube.
Now that he is ordained, Corwyn can perform marriages and lead funerals and memorial services, like any clergy person. As an "unsui" or "clouds and waters" priest, he has taken a vow to devote his life to being of service to the sangha, and to all beings. He is not yet a Zen teacher, but functions in countless ways to support our community. You can read more about what it means to be a Boundless Way priest, and the distinction between teacher and priest here.
Corwyn's ordination name, Ryūdõ, means "dragon hall", and is the family name I give to all those I have the privilege to ordain. Kinzan, his first Zen name, means "joyful mountain."
As we say in our ordination ceremony: "The way is perfect like vast space, where there’s no lack and no excess; the person who does not realize this wanders lost in a world of confusion and hurt, while the person who realizes the way is immediately at home."
Welcome home, Ryūdõ Kinzan!
Tuesday, April 13, 2021
Full of Gold Sesshin
Our April Distant Temple Bell online sesshin (Zen retreat) finished up yesterday and here is the screen shot of most of our participants taken by our tanto (head seat) Corwyn Miyagishima. He was joined in running the sesshin by Senior Assistant Teacher Alan Richardson as assistant tanto, along with Jenny Smith and Adam Monty as officers. David Dae An Rynick Roshi and I were the teachers, assisted by Senior Assistant Teacher Rev. Paul Galvin and Senior Assistant Teacher Michael Herzog. Corwyn named the retreat after a story told in one of the talks about a Tibetan Buddhist teacher who, while scattering away a big pile of gold dust, said "All the world is gold to me!" From the evidence of the bright faces in the photo, each shining with their own light, that's easy to see.
Our next sesshin will be held online June 11 -- 13. Stay tuned for information about this and other events by joining our mailing list at Boundless Way Temple. Happy Spring everyone!














